It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
she pinky promised me she was 18
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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