Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
