Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
