I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
