No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
