What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
