susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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