saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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