You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
