He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I love you. Go after that dick
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
