Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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