A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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