she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
