So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
