Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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