At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
3 2 1 whiskey
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Randomize
