i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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