Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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