dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Houston, we have a squirter
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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