you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
