Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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