Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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