Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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