idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
