Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
