I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
