Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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