"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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