so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
