So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
