in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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