You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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