Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
