god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
