You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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