So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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