He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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