And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize
