Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
