you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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