You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
