I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
