That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
my poor anus
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
