yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
me + whiskey = a bad person
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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