Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
