it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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