I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
