there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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