I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Randomize
