happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
