But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
